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SATAN DRIVES TO WORK

 
  Am I Blue?

2 December 1998


Funny, looks the same to me. You sure? Maybe you just need a break.


7:30 PM: I found this month's pin-up at a site that had a link to ME!, which just shows their good taste and questionable mental health. Unfortunately I can't find where that was now. So if it was your page, let me know. Be sure to build a good head of indignant steam first, I won't mind. Anyway, it's the daily comic adventures of Sluggy Freelance (with a color strip on weekends!), it's really silly, and I like it.

Woke up this morning at 9 AM, ow. Got up, I should say. Not slept too well for previous hour. Couch has been compressed to size of handball. Bad foam. But I'm afraid of my bedroom now, it's the Horrible Nightmare Chamber. Wonder if they have exorcism kits at Walgreens?

Anyway. Clever boy, worked on my site for a while, sat around at home. If I had just come in to work, I could already be home asleep again. But no. Now I must do the Turgid Face Dip Dance, where one finds oneself in the middle of a sentence with no notion of its origin or intended destination. Not that the destinations are always so worthwhile, it's just nice to know.

Sheesh. I could bloody well automate this whole column/journal/thing, couldn't I?


10:36 PM: Uhhhh.... I think I'm supposed to, like, have a job? Where I have things to do? But I don't remember what they are? That's a lie, I know perfectly well. Sort of. Oh it doesn't matter.

I was glad to see in the paper the other day that Jane Horrocks, who played Bubble in Absolutely Fabulous, has a new movie coming out, and a big role in it. She was one of my favorite people in that show. "What is it that you do do, Bubbles?" "Get paid...."

I just got one of those online credit reports. How discouraging. Chronologically disorienting, too. My credit sucks now, mostly because of things that happened - it feels like - ages ago, that in fact happened mostly in the early to mid 90s. Which, you know, is not really that long ago. In the grand scheme of things. And if that's not how you describe a credit bureau, what is? I'm better off anyway. I can't handle credit, I just use it all up immediately and then pay it back for the rest of my life. Not an uncommon thing.

Besides, soon The Horrible Future That Awaits Us All will arrive and only cash and trade goods will be useful. You think I'm making this up, don't you?

More California Twisters

May 6, 1998 -- A second day of severe thunderstorms across California produced high winds, hail and another string of tornadoes in the Southland. Several twisters touch down in Southern California, uprooting trees and knocking out power to thousands. No one was injured, but one tornado ripped the metal siding off an auto repair shop in San Bernardino. Another whirlwind caused minor damage when it dropped from the sky in Manhattan Beach.

The Great Climate Flip-flop

"Climate change" is popularly understood to mean greenhouse warming, which, it is predicted, will cause flooding, severe windstorms, and killer heat waves. But warming could lead, paradoxically, to drastic cooling -- a catastrophe that could threaten the survival of civilization.

Furby toy hits shopping malls, Web sites
4:15 p.m. ET (2115 GMT) November 30, 1998

BOSTON - Furby fever gripped holiday shoppers in Massachusetts who lined up for hours early over the weekend for a chance to buy one of the talking, stuffed "pets'' that have become this season's "must-have'' high-tech toy.

Internet sites were promoting the toy, having anticipated strong demand among tech-savvy Web surfer's because Furby's interactive nature. Some were accepting bids as well above the retail price.

At traditional shopping malls, the toy was creating the same kind of sensation that Cabbage Patch Dolls and Beanie Babies have sparked in past years.

At a Wal-Mart Stores Inc. outlet in Tewksbury, Mass., police were called in to control a Furby-frenzied crowd that had grown unruly waiting for the 6 a.m. opening, a store official said.

There were "some rude customers fighting among themselves, screaming for the Furby,'' said assistant manager Ellen Gordon. Some shoppers had lined up at 10 p.m. on Thanksgiving night, she said.

Gates Testimony Goes Thunk
2:10 p.m. 2.Dec.98.PST

A testy Gates at first said he didn't know what a subordinate "specifically means by 'pissing on'" in a May 1997 email he received, though Gates later acknowledged the term probably had its usual meaning.

You know what's happening. Don't try to tell me you don't.


2:36 AM: Ambiguous Lessons of the Street Dept.: No matter how bad things are, at least I wasn't out in the rain at 3rd & Market at midnight in a short skirt, high heels, and a short-sleeved sweater, sticking my finger down my throat to make myself throw up because I was too drunk to do anything else. On the other hand, tomorrow we'll both be sober, and only she'll wake up cute. So I'm not sure what the moral of this story is.




Willfully blind self-indulgent nebbish or amusingly quirky old coot? And how bout that local sports team? Discuss among yourselves.

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