An Unfortunate Error in Timing
13 April 1999
2:23 PM: I wake up before the alarm goes off and actually get out of bed. I set both VCRs up, shower, find socks, take MUNI and still manage to get to work early enough for a Sausage McNothing meal. By 10 AM I'm in work, greased and caffeinated and ready to go.
"Oh, we had that meeting yesterday. Didn't anyone tell you?"
I was in such a good mood this morning, honestly I was. You'd have been surprised to see it. Sunnier than the day, was me.
I don't think I'm really an angry guy. It sure sounds more like the usual peevish whining. But sometimes I'm not sure. Sometimes, it feels like a crack in the surface will open, and you can see something red and ugly inside. Like the deep vents in the ocean floor. Blind fish of rage living on endocrinal heat and debris from above.
At least I'm properly preparing for my future career. I am a quiet sort of fellow, I do keep to myself pretty much, I do seem friendly enough as far as you know. Coming to Fox News.
Anyway, so now not only am I here way too early, I've run out of things to do again. I hate that. Someday, someone's going to notice, and they're either going to give me more work or fire me.
And fuck Garrison Keillor and the horse he rode in on, too. And his letter writers:Opportunities to meet other people are abundant, but people prefer to stand around with friends and ramble on with their self-involved complaints about loneliness. Why aren't people meeting?Abundant my hairy and capacious rectum. Name twelve. I like being bitter, it's distinctive, and it makes it easier to read the news. Life makes more sense.
Tired of Putting Up With My Generation's Self-Absorbed Drama
You Xers have been exposed to so much so early that by the time you're 27, emotionally you're 73, crotchety, bitter, racked with loneliness, trapped in sensibility.
3:39: Mmmm. Snack! : Cheese Crackers & Peanut Butter. This is such an American object. I wonder if this is based on an actual food dish of some kind?
Willfully blind self-indulgent nebbish or amusingly quirky old coot? And how bout that local sports team? Discuss among yourselves.
All names are fake, most places are real, the author is definitely unreliable but it's all in good fun. Yep.
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