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Why are Fig Rolls so damn nice? by shlong on 2000-08-07 04:38:48

I don't think i have ever opened a packet and not eaten the entire contents within 15 minutes, and that includes that little novel cardboard tray they come lined up in. And one more thing, Jaffa Cakes or Fig Rolls for next prime minister?

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Re: Why are Fig Rolls so damn nice? by shlong on 2000-08-07 04:39:55  |  Reply to this
  After a lot of careful thought, its Jaffig, of fuck, i dunno.......
Re: Why are Fig Rolls so damn nice? by tommie on 2000-08-07 12:32:51  |  Reply to this
  I wish "fig rolls" was an option in electing our next leader here in the USA.

Never in my long, long life has there been such poor choices of the serious contenders.

Re: Why are Fig Rolls so damn nice? by Tetra Grammaton on 2000-08-07 21:55:02  |  Reply to this
  What is a fig roll?
Re: Re: Why are Fig Rolls so damn nice? by [no name] on 2000-08-09 05:30:07  |  Reply to this
  the nicest biscuit you have ever tasted. A semi-soft buscuit shell containing some really nice tasting fruity stuff.
Re: Re: Re: Why are Fig Rolls so damn nice? by Yvonne on 2001-09-25 04:08:34  |  Reply to this
  Because they're chewy and sweet on the inside, and cakey yum yum on the outside.... I prefer Jacobs, although the co-op do the old 'ridged top' soft variety, and they are apsolutely scrummy....
Re: Re: Why are Fig Rolls so damn nice? by Amelia on 2000-08-09 11:00:24  |  Reply to this
  I am pretty sure it is what we call a "Fig Newton."

Which is pretty odd when you think about it. I mean, isn't an apple the fruit most associated with Newton?
Re: Re: Re: Why are Fig Rolls so damn nice? by shlong on 2000-08-09 14:48:43  |  Reply to this
  good point
Re: Re: Re: Why are Fig Rolls so damn nice? by Tetra Grammaton on 2000-08-10 23:38:39  |  Reply to this
  I always assumed it was some kind of obscure physics joke.
Re: Re: Re: Re: Why are Fig Rolls so damn nice? by shlong on 2000-08-11 16:17:25  |  Reply to this
  is it....? i don't get it, explain
Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Why are Fig Rolls so damn nice? by Amelia on 2000-08-12 19:51:59  |  Reply to this
  Well, if you eat too many, your body will tend to remain at rest...
Re: Re: Re: Re: Why are Fig Rolls so damn nice? by tommie on 2000-08-11 20:40:40  |  Reply to this
  Hehe... I like the one about the three quarks who went into a bar...

Re: Why are Fig Rolls so damn nice? by Kid Loco on 2000-08-22 10:36:43  |  Reply to this
  Here, you are wide of the mark. Garibaldis & Lemon Puffs!are the biscuit kings. (Or cookie kings for stateside readers.....
Re: Re: Why are Fig Rolls so damn nice? by Amelia on 2000-08-23 03:32:28  |  Reply to this
  We stateside readers are able to translate biscuit to cookie more easily than we can recognize the actual items known as Garibaldis and Lemon Puffs.
And here in the US, I would nominate Mystic Mints as the finest of the basic commercial cookies. I think boutique cookies like Mrs. Field's must go into some separate category; for those, I nominate the toffee and white chocolate variety at Blue Chip cookies.
Re: Re: Why are Fig Rolls so damn nice? by shlong on 2000-08-23 04:22:14  |  Reply to this
  I'll give you the garibaldis, but lemon puffs... they're just not up there in the major league of biscuits. The caramel rocky robin is also without doubt, up there at the top sweets league.
LEMON PUFFS: ARE GREAT! by Kid Loco on 2000-08-25 02:43:57  |  Reply to this
  They're so sticky and zesty. They're a great change from the regular biscuit, and well worthy of inclusion in any top 10 (related to biscuits - they weren't by any means the 8th highest selling soul artist in the 1970's)
Re: Why are Fig Rolls so damn nice? by Patrick Bateman on 2000-08-23 13:58:40  |  Reply to this
  It's true - Garibaldis are the Kings of the biscuit based snacks. Although having no actual taste and the texture of MDF, these insidiously addictive treats are also useful around the housein roles such as supporting wonky table legs. Bow down before the might of the Garibaldis!
Re: Why are Fig Rolls so damn nice? by Patrick Bateman on 2000-08-23 13:59:30  |  Reply to this
  It's true - Garibaldis are the Kings of the biscuit based snacks. Although having no actual taste and the texture of MDF, these insidiously addictive treats are also useful around the house in roles such as supporting wonky table legs. Bow down before the might of the Garibaldis!
Re: Re: Why are Fig Rolls so damn nice? by shlong on 2000-08-24 08:34:41  |  Reply to this
  You made your point the first time, but i still hold strong in my defence for the fig roll.
Re: Why are Fig Rolls so damn nice? by OLi on 2001-04-21 19:45:00  |  Reply to this
  Anyone know the name of Fig Rolls in northern america /canda? for my buddy accross the pond?
Re: Re: Why are Fig Rolls so damn nice? by shlong on 2001-04-24 00:05:49  |  Reply to this
  stolen identity, i protest
Re: Re: Why are Fig Rolls so damn nice? by moi on 2001-09-26 13:08:10  |  Reply to this
  si, senor... the U.S. brand name calls 'em: Fig Newtons!
Re: Re: Re: Why are Fig Rolls so damn nice? by Kid, on 2001-09-27 13:37:10  |  Reply to this
  Is that cos they drop on your head when you sit under a tree?
Re: Re: Re: Re: Why are Fig Rolls so damn nice? by moi on 2001-09-28 11:54:45  |  Reply to this
  a little testy are we mayhaps, Kid? Mmm? -- I dunno why the advertisers do what they do!... and, as a matter of fact, the last advert I saw for these was a proper English lady taking her little nephew out for tea. She winds up dumping the whole plate of "Fig Newtons" into her purse! -- and the English voice-over man is saying: "They're not cookies -- they're fruit n' cake!" They MUST BE a UK thing. Have you been drafted yet?????
Re: Why are Fig Rolls so damn nice? by Dave on 2004-12-15 03:20:22  |  Reply to this
  My friend tom lived on nothing but fig rolls for three years. He just goes to show, not only are they a mighty tasty snack but nutritious too.
Re: Re: Why are Fig Rolls so damn nice? by Tom on 2004-12-15 03:29:53  |  Reply to this
  Well you say that. I had a friend called Dave who was a firkin idiot. He didnít like fig rolls. I tried introducing him to the delights of fig rolls, some times even when he was sleeping just slipping one into his open jaw. But every time the same response, a spit and a funny look. Can someone please help me getting my friend to enjoy the delights of fig rolls. I know if he gave them a chance he, like me would fall deeply in love with them. Calling all fig roll lovers, we must unit and get the world loving those fantastic bic bics.
Re: Re: Re: Why are Fig Rolls so damn nice? by Ferritt on 2004-12-20 06:34:26  |  Reply to this
  Quite simple my friend: You must glue your friend to the floor and force fig rolls into his gaping maw for around four hours straight. Eventually, he will jsut have to eat them to allow himself to breathe, and he will be overcome by the flavour and passion of the 'roll that he will forgive you the torture and life will progress, albeit in a slightly enriched way.