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A Million Monkeys by Insomniac on 2000-10-19 01:40:46

We've all heard that a million monkeys banging on a million typewriters will eventually reproduce the entire works of Shakespeare. Now, thanks to the Internet, we know this is not true.

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Re: A Million Monkeys by Amelia on 2000-10-19 03:56:01  |  Reply to this
  Ah, but the monkeys' banging was presumed to be random. The sad thing about the Internet is that the contributors think their posts have meaning.

The real problem with the million typewriters theory is that they are not really random either. While the monkeys may not type with intent, they would be more likely to strike keys in certain convenient positions than others at the edges of the keyboard. The QWERTY keyboard is a separate complicating factor, since its original design was based on the need to keep manual typewriter keys from sticking when struck in too rapid a sequence. This fact means it would take even longer for the monkeys to create meaningful character sequences through random keyboarding than it might with a different keyboard layout.

Well, you brought it up.
Re: Re: A Million Monkeys by APM on 2000-10-19 08:48:59  |  Reply to this
  Maybe we just need more monkeys.
Re: Re: A Million Monkeys by Jason Brewer on 2000-10-20 11:38:11  |  Reply to this
  If you ever see an infinite number of monkeys typing on an infinite number of computers, it's a safe bet that most of them are really playing Solitaire.
Re: Re: Re: A Million Monkeys by Kid on 2000-10-21 04:25:01  |  Reply to this
  And the rest are looking up porn on the internet? Man, you give monkeys little credit....
Re: Re: Re: Re: A Million Monkeys by Monkey Porn!?!?!? on 2000-10-21 16:23:23  |  Reply to this
Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: A Million Monkeys by Kid on 2000-10-23 09:32:40  |  Reply to this
  Oh, sorry. That guy just has a really hairy ass.
That was a joke. by Kid on 2000-10-24 05:25:49  |  Reply to this
  Apparently. I mean I dunno. What do I get up to in my spare time?

Re: A Million Monkeys by tommie on 2000-10-19 08:00:51  |  Reply to this
  The wheels on the bus go 'round and 'round...
Re: A Million Monkeys by [no name] on 2000-10-19 18:13:33  |  Reply to this
  But, the statement didn't rule out a million trainers.
Re: A Million Monkeys by APM on 2000-10-20 11:34:40  |  Reply to this
  "One time I hired a monkey to take notes for me in class. I would just sit there with my mind a complete blank while the monkey scribbled on little pieces of paper. At the end of the week, the teacher said, 'Class, I want you to write a report using your notes. So I wrote a paper that said, 'Hello! My name is Bingo! I like to climb on things! Can I have a banana? Eek eek!' I got a F! When I told my mom about it, she said, 'I told you, never trust a monkey!' The end." - Brak, from Space Ghost
Linguistic Ability of Apes by Kid. Eh? on 2000-10-24 03:38:53  |  Reply to this
  I've just watched a video about it, and feel fairly (not only knowledgeable but) sure that the banging on keyboards would be totally random, and only if the keyboards had very clear images and the chimps had very obvious prompts could they put together anything resembling a sentence. Whilst I'm wittering on so, I was with a guy yesterday who forgot how to pronounce both 'hedgehog' and 'scorpion'. The latter came out something like 'Scorpioné' (in a sort of Mafiosi stylee) and 'Hedgehog' was 'Hedgiehog'. Well, it tickled me somewhat....